Why I Love Weddings

Today, I spent some time shopping and talking on the phone while doing so. I was talking to my friend Katy about the wedding I went to on Saturday, telling her about how beautiful it was. And it was.

While we were talking, we came down on opposite sides of the "love weddings/don't love weddings debate." I love them. But, I felt like I had to qualify that.

I'll explain. I don't love the stress of weddings or the fussiness of weddings or even a lot of the traditions of weddings. And I don't love all the pretense, the doing things just because that's what's done or because that's what looks good. I mean, I'm all for a reverent ceremony. Marriage is a sacrament, people.

And I guess that's what I love about weddings. I love that we get to witness something divine. I love the hopefulness of seeing two people about to start a life together. And knowing that, out of that decision to begin a life together, more lives can be touched by the love that those two people have. I guess I just feel like we are all infinitely richer for seeing that love, for having another example of love to follow.

During the ceremony, the minister, who is a friend of Jon and Sabrina's, reflected a bit on what he has learned in his own fourteen years of marriage. He said that he has begun to feel that marriage is one of God's favorite tools to use in making us become the people He wants us to be.

I'll admit, I can be a romantic. Much to my own embarrassment (and the chagrin of others), I love a good romantic comedy. I like to see the couple get together in the end. Those movies give me all sorts of warm fuzzies. But, even more amazing is to think of the kind of love that the minister spoke of during the ceremony. The kind of love that allows and even wants God to transform it through marriage, the kind of love that leans not on its own understanding but in all its ways acknowledges God.

Weddings let us see a bit of that love, and the marriage that emerges from that wedding lets us see how the selfless, redeeming love of Christ can take an institution that is as likely to fail as it is to succeed and yet transform it into something that shows love to all who are witness to it. And, as Jon's father said the night before the wedding, it is Christ in us who allows us to love. He sustains us and gives us love, even in those times when we cannot muster any feelings of love in ourselves.

So, I guess that's why I love weddings. They remind me of that kind of love. They give me hope, and they let me anticipate the good that will come from the love of that couple. And maybe, just maybe, I love weddings because I'm a bit of a romantic. After all, I want to see the couple get together in the end. But I also want to see what happens for them, for us all, after they get together.

Dearest readers, I love you. I love you all,

Sara

On the Road

Well, I must say that today was a pretty lovely, if a bit hectic, day. I'm here in Champaign, getting ready for Sabrina's wedding. Yesterday and today involved working on flowers at her church, and I learned that there are few things nicer than arranging flowers at a church. There's just something so calming about it.

And, that calming effect was much appreciated, as I had an interview today. There's no really exciting story to it, but I did get the job. So that's pretty exciting. And it's also comforting. And I mean that not just in the sense that it's comforting to know that I'll have a source of income. But, it's comforting to feel like I made the right decision, that there's some tangible proof that I'm moving in the right direction.

I really have a peace about returning to grad school, and I thank God for it. Even though I am about to start studies that will be quite stressful at times, I thank God for this peace which passes all understanding.

Much love to all of you,

Sara

A Homecoming, Of Sorts

Right now, I'm pretty sleepy, and I'm looking forward to getting to bed. Tomorrow will be a hurried morning, full of packing, remembering last-minute details, and forgetting something that seems really important at the moment but probably isn't in the whole scheme of things.

Tomorrow, I'm headed out of town once again. But this time, instead of heading to El Salvador, I'm going to the Midwest. Okay, so perhaps you're thinking that the better vacation would be to head to the tropical paradise that is El Salvador. Well, normally, I'd say you're right. Normally, I'd much rather see all my kids in ES than go to Illinois. But, this time, Illinois is special.

Well, perhaps it's not Illinois that special. But, my very good friend Sabrina is getting married to a super sweet guy named Jon. And that's pretty special. I'm not going to brag about the pivotal role I played in this approaching marriage. Okay, I will brag. Those two are perfect for each other, and I knew it from the get-go. Whatever the get-go is. Well, whatever or whenever it is, I knew it. So there. And I'm ridiculously happy to be going to this wedding and to be doing the flowers for it. (Little known fact, I love arranging flowers. It's one of my favorite things to do. I almost never do it, but today I made two flower arrangements.)

So, tomorrow, I get on a jet plane (or whatever flies out of my town) and head to Champaign, by way of Chicago and rental car. And, you know, I just realized that I've never rented a car by myself before. Weird, right? I've done every other sort of traveling alone (first solo plane trip at the age of six, plenty of trains, subways, taxis, buses, and the like), but I've never rented a car by myself. Well, I guess I've never sailed alone either, but there's not much call for that.

Anyways, I'm excited for the wedding. I'm excited to go back to Champaign, as I haven't been there in a little over a year. While it'll be only a short visit this time, I'm ready to see how the place has changed, what kind of difference the year has made. I know it has made a difference in me.

Much love to all of you,

Sara

A Re-cap

Well, this past weekend was the Texas Reds Festival, and it was great. I meet Robert Earl Keen, and I learn that he wears Keens. Me too! :)

Later Saturday evening, I saw him play, and it was an amazing show. I stood out there in downtown, listening to Robert Earl Keen, and I just had to think that there was no better way to spend the evening. And, it made me happy that I got to see him play this festival shortly before I'll be moving back to Illinois. If there's anything that makes me miss home, it's Robert Earl Keen. Maybe I'll write more about that later, but for now I'll just say that it was wonderful.

Loves,

Sara

Part for the Whole, Whole for the Part, Part of a Whole

For me, reading was always simple. When I was young, our class was split into reading groups, and I was always in the fastest readers group. One of my best friends was in the slowest group. I guess I didn't really understand that, didn't really get that reading could be hard for someone. Of course, when it came time for PE, it was a different story. When we'd run, I was always the slowest. For whatever reason, I just wasn't a good runner. And, over time, seeing how bad I was at running made me not want to run.

I'll cut to the chase right here. I'm not at all about to tell you a story about me becoming a great runner. It didn't happen. And, you know what? It probably never will. Oh, there are times when, even though I'm not great at it, I like to run. It's something that has given me some joy, a sense of accomplishment. But, I'm a realist. I'm not ever going to win a race, but I just might run it despite that fact.

Sometimes it's really easy to take gifts for granted. I was always a pretty capable student, and (to my good fortune) I was in a place where that meant something. I thought about that the other day as I was riding around San Salvador in a taxi (oh, the things taxis make me think about). How different my life might have been had success been based on my ability to run fast rather than my ability to do well on tests. But, I had to think that it didn't mean that my ability to do well in school meant that I was better than a person who could run fast but didn't do well on tests (not that these facilities have to be mutually exclusive). Sometimes you really need someone who can run fast or someone who can lift heavy things.

And, as I rode around in this taxi, taking in all the beauty that's between Soyapango and the San Salvador airport, I started thinking about the Body of Christ. Specifically, I was thinking of how Paul discusses the fact that we, as Christians, are the Body of Christ on earth. Just as our own bodies are made up of many different parts which function in many different ways, so is the Body of Christ. We can't all be hands or feet or hearts or heads. There must be many different parts because the world has many different needs that we must attend to, ways that we must minister to all who are in need.

So, Paul basically says that we shouldn't be jealous of the gifts that other members of the body have. We can't all have the same gifts or fulfill the same purposes. That would be redundant. It would make the Body of Christ a non-functioning whole because it would be many single and unrelated parts. How do hands function without arms? How do you hold your head up if there is no body?

But, sometimes I think it's easy to lose sight of what Paul is talking about. Sometimes I have trouble understanding why other people don't have the same strengths I have, and (more often) I find myself wishing I had strengths that other people have.

Here's an example. I believe in God. It's easy for me. Seriously.

Now, let me be honest. There have been times in my life when I felt like believing in God was perhaps the most insane thing I had ever done. But, for whatever reason, belief in God is not something that's difficult for me. I don't struggle with belief in the face of terrible circumstances. I understand that struggle, but it's not mine.

But, there are things I do struggle with. I see other people who seem to have such a sincere ability to relate to God, to seem so genuine and able to show their faith through their lives and to even openly discuss their faith. I'll level with you. I do envy those people. I wish I were one of those people. But I'm not. To me, those people always seem like they are so mature in their faith. That's not me. I don't speak openly about my faith. I actually don't speak openly about much of anything, but that's a blog for another day.

What I do take from Paul is this. I may never be one of those people I admire (or envy). I may never realize the fullness of those gifts, but that doesn't mean that I cannot be grateful that other people do have those gifts. And the fact that I do not have those gifts in abundance doesn't mean that I don't have them at all. Those may not be my strengths, but at least I can see how others use those strengths and learn from their examples.

It's all very humbling really. To know that I'm not and never can be the best Christian. And yet, it makes me a part of something bigger than myself, and that is something very beautiful.

I love each and every one of you,

Sara

What is Good?

My birthday is coming up. It will be here in less than two weeks. And I just realized that it took me a ridiculous amount of time to type that last sentence, mainly due to the fact that I can't remember today's date.

Anyways, this birthday isn't so big. I mean, it's not a milestone or anything. Last year was both my 30th and my "golden" birthday. If you had no idea that there was such a thing as a golden birthday, don't fear. I didn't either. Until I had one. It's the year that your age is the same as the date of your birth. So, with that explanation, it's pretty easy to deduce that my birthday is June 30th.

I really like birthdays. I think they're fun and maybe even a bit magical. Really, I've moved to being pretty low key about my birthdays. I like to do something fun, but I don't like to do anything too fancy. Last year I went to a baseball game with friends. Before the game we ate at my favorite taco bar. And then I spent the next day at the farm. Seriously, that's my favorite kind of birthday.

I guess it's because my birthday is coming up that I've been thinking of my earlier years. I'm not going into details or anything (protecting the innocent and all that good stuff), but I have made a ton of bad choices in my life. Some of them were dumb choices, many naive choices, and some just plain rotten choices. There are sometimes when I feel quite lucky to be alive. And other times when I just feel glad to be as happy and content as I am.

I guess what surprises me the most is how good God has been to me. I'm not saying that my whole life has been 100% happy and without struggle. I could write a few stories (or perhaps entire books) about the unhappier moments of my life. Some of it my fault, some of it not. But, I don't see God's goodness in just the happy parts of my life. When I look back on my life thus far, I see God's goodness in the saddest of times, the scariest of times, the loneliest and most dangerous of times. I see how He brought me through those times, how He restored me and bound up my broken heart, how He didn't allow those times to overcome me in a way that I couldn't escape from. And that is goodness.